For Families

Families are usually the ones who call first. If you are the parent, partner, adult child, or sibling trying to work out what to do next, this page is for you.

You can call (858) 925-8589 at any hour and ask questions about our programs without your family member being enrolled, present, or even aware you are calling.

What we can and cannot tell you

An adult client's health information is HIPAA protected. Without their written authorization we cannot confirm whether someone is in treatment here, discuss their diagnosis, or share anything about their care. That is the law, and we follow it even when a family member is frightened and the request is entirely loving.

What we can always do is talk with you about our programs, our levels of care, how admission works, what treatment costs, and what your options are. If your family member does authorize it, we can involve you directly, including in family therapy. If their living situation is part of the problem, read about sober living in San Diego and our other housing partners.

What actually helps

Say what you have seen, not what you have concluded

"You have not eaten with us in three weeks and I have been scared" lands differently from "you have a problem." Specific observations are hard to argue with; diagnoses invite a fight about the label instead of the situation.

Pick the moment

Not while they are intoxicated, not mid-argument, not in front of an audience. A dull Tuesday morning works better than a holiday.

Have something concrete to offer

"I called a place in La Mesa, they take Medi-Cal, and there is no cost. I will drive you" is an actionable offer. "You need help" is a verdict.

Expect ambivalence rather than agreement

Almost nobody says yes the first time, and that is not failure. Ambivalence is the normal condition of someone facing a hard change, and our clinicians are trained to work with it — see motivational interviewing.

What tends not to help

• Ultimatums you will not enforce. An unenforced threat teaches that the next one is also negotiable.
• Accommodation that removes consequences. Covering the rent, calling in sick for them, or providing endless reassurance in OCD all reduce distress today and hold the problem in place. Changing that is a real part of treatment and it is easier with clinical support than alone.
• Waiting for rock bottom. This idea has cost people their lives. There is no clinical reason to wait for things to get worse before intervening, and plenty of reason not to.
• Making treatment conditional on gratitude. People frequently enter treatment resentful and get better anyway.

If it is an emergency

If your family member is in immediate danger, call 911. For urgent behavioral health help in San Diego County, the Access and Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day at 1-888-724-7240, and the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached by call or text at 988.

When you call 911 for a mental health crisis, say explicitly that it is a psychiatric emergency and describe what you are seeing.

Look after yourself too

People supporting someone through this get depleted, and depleted support is what runs out at the worst moment. Your own therapy, your own support group, and your own boundaries are not a distraction from helping — they are what makes the help sustainable.

Because our programs are outpatient, your family member lives at home during treatment, which makes the household part of the clinical picture. That is precisely why family work is available with their consent.